I just don't think it's ever going to happen. I don't even have any guy friends right now.. I never meet new guys.. It really does seem hopeless. I predict, at the very least, 3 more years of this nightly torture before a turnaround. And I hope it happens that soon before I have to do myself in from all-consuming misery. I wish I could cry but I can't even conjure up tears..
Monday, May 31, 2010
Nighttime is the worst
It gets really bad when I'm getting ready for bed. I start to feel an aching in my chest. The thoughts take over anything else and all I can do is wish I had someone to sleep with. Literally sleep with. Okay maybe (definitely) a healthy dose of cuddling before bed. But then I'd be more than content to snuggle up to someone and fall asleep in their arms.
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Sleep is weird, because sometimes I need it as a refuge or a way to forget. To be undead for a short period of a time.
ReplyDeleteBut then again, I dread it, I dread the hour or so it takes me to sleep. It's within that hour or so that worry rains on to me. Maybe cuddling could be my cure as well?
Sadly, I don't think I'll meet anyone anytime soon as well. A greater part of me doesn't want to, but that's a whole 'nother thing :|
Oh. I've been longing for arms to hold me for longer than I can remember.
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