fighting sleep just to get this out

Please don't read this.  It's the same old thing.  I'm sitting here on my bed... about to shut my laptop, put it away on its shelf, close the blinds as tightly as possible so the morning sunshine won't peek through, tuck myself into bed, and fall asleep.  The only thing missing is someone here beside me.  Every night is the same.  I don't want to go another day like this.  In the daytime I can distract myself from these thoughts.  I can talk to my sister, bake cupcakes, I can argue with my mother... watch a movie.  But in this short window of time between distraction and sleep there will never be a way keep my mind from these same thoughts of loneliness night after night.